Welcome to the new HUGG Spotlight, where we introduce you to the amazing people who make HUGG what it is. We believe that connection and understanding are at the heart of our work, and that starts with our dedicated team of staff, volunteers, and board members.
First up is Sheila, our incredible Telephone Supporter Lead. With her own lived experience of suicide loss, Sheila knows the profound power of a listening ear. She is often the first reassuring voice someone hears when they reach out to HUGG.
Tell us a little bit about you & your lived experience of suicide loss
In 1996, my 21-year-old brother Billy died by suicide. Just four short years later, my baby brother Wayne also died by suicide, he was just 15 years old. When they ended their lives, I felt that they had ended mine too. The pain was indescribable. I was shocked, devastated, grief stricken and felt vulnerable. At times, I was numb and void of any emotion. Unfortunately, there was no support offered to me or my family and none was found. I didn’t think I would ever survive it, but I did, and I do. You don’t get over it, but you do learn to build a life around your grief whilst still carrying them with you!
Describe what you do in your role?
My core role with HUGG is Telephone Support and I hear first hand how it can provide a lifeline for someone impacted by suicide. I speak to those bereaved just a few hours to many, many years. It offers a compassionate listening ear, an opportunity to connect with someone with a lived experience and provide information on support services available. We give all of our callers, the time and space they need because we recognise that every loss is unique and with it comes a complexity of needs.
What do you find most rewarding about being part of HUGG?
There are many aspects of being part of HUGG that are rewarding but ultimately it comes down to simply being there for others who are travelling a similar bereavement journey. You understand the pain, bewilderment and array of emotions and feelings so being able to just listen and hold a space with someone over the phone is hugely rewarding.
If someone was thinking about reaching out to HUGG for the first time, what would you want them to know?
I want them to know that you do not have to do this alone. Suicide bereavement can feel so isolating and confusing amongst many things. We know that there are many layers to suicide bereavement. So, connecting with others that understand can help alleviate some of those feelings whilst helping to validate other emotions that feel so alien. Connection is important because it can lead to hope.
Beyond HUGG – What brings you joy outside of your work?
Sheilas cat Simon in the back garden
Walking, travel and my cat Simon.
Walking connects me with nature. It’s a space that I simply lose myself in especially if I’m up a mountain or by the sea. It can also be my think tank, a time where I sort through ‘stuff’ in my head.
Travel makes me feel alive. I am one of those annoying people that love being at an airport and the further away that flight is taking me the better. I have been fortunate to travel loads and my most favourite place in the world is Western Australia.
Simon is a sensitive tuxedo rescue cat. I got him when he was six months old and we have been in each other’s lives for 4 years now. He is as odd as two left feet and is most certainly the boss of the house. I love the bones of him!
If you need practical or emotional support after suicide, call us on 01 513 4048.